Myths and Facts About Grief
MYTH: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.
Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.
MYTH: It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.
Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.
MYTH: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.
Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.
MYTH: Grief should last about a year.
Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.
Source: Center for Grief and Healing
'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' Isaiah 41:10
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you". Isaiah 43:2
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted". Matthew 5:4
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
GRIEF, the word that makes us all cringe. It is quite possibly one of the most difficult things to go through in life. It is a process that none of us deal with the same and all of us experience differently. It comes in all different sizes, some more manageable than others. We can experience grief with a job loss, a divorce, the loss of a beloved pet, or even being relocated to a new place. In its most difficult form it can come with the loss of a dear friend, a spouse, a parent, or the loss of a child.
Sometimes we can prepare ourselves for grief, which can slightly ease the pain. For instance, we may know of an upcoming lay off, an ailing pet or even a critical illness that allows time for goodbyes. Other times, grief can completely blindside us. One minute all is right in the world and the next minute a simple ringing of the phone changes everything. No matter the cause, the level of intensity or the limited preparation we sometimes get, grief is never welcome.
If you are finding yourself in a stage of grief due to a loss, first, let me apologize and tell you how truly sorry I am. Next, let me tell you that although the future seems grim, it doesn’t have to be. Eventually life will go on even though your world may be standing still right now. However, don’t feel pressure to rush it. Be kind to yourself. Take the time you need to grieve. There’s no time limit and there’s no right way to do it. If you are grieving alongside someone as you both or all suffer the same loss, be kind to them too. Remember, everyone grieves differently and in their own time.
The 5 stages of grief can come at any time and in any grouping. It is possible to only experience 1 or 2 stages several months apart and it is also possible to experience all 5 on and off at one time. If you need help with the grieving process there is no shame in that. If you find your life is completely disrupted and unmanageable or if it is not able to get back on track after a reasonable amount of time, then it is indeed time to seek help.
The good news is there is a way out of grief but unfortunately the bad news is that way is going through it. Please let us help you if you need it.